I don’t have any cute stories this morning. Well, actually I did have one, but I thought it would get me in trouble, so I’m skipping it. If you want to hear it (and how it relates to this post), you’ll have to prove to me that I can trust you with it. 🙂 I may even show you the corresponding picture.
If you know anyone who has trouble trusting, the challenge is partially yours to help them. It’s impossible for people to build trusting relationships if we aren’t being trustworthy. How can we be a trustworthy friend?
- Be kind and compassionate.
- Have integrity. Tell the truth. Keep a secret.
- Go deep. Know people well enough that you can almost predict their behaviors and responses. Healthy trust happens in sincere relationships.
It’s easy for someone with problems trusting to feel like they simply need to step out and trust people more with deep information, but in reality they need to learn WHO to trust. In fact, one of the biggest sign that someone has trust issues is that he is trusting people that he has no business trusting.
King Saul had serious trust issues that sabotaged his relationships and eventually his reign. That’s what happens if you don’t have a trustworthy community, your relationships are seen with suspicion leaving no room for sincere trust. Eventually your calling with be stunted (if it even has a chance to unfold). It’s important to look at problems with trust as self-sabotaging rather than self-protecting.
Where does someone with trust problems start?
Trust in the Lord.
It sounds simple and perhaps cliché to you, but you have to see, admit, and surrender your fear to the Lord. It’s important that this comes first. Otherwise our other relationships will replace a role that He is meant to have. This is the cause of many problems with trusting others.
Second, start surrounding yourself with trustworthy people. If you don’t know if people are trustworthy, look for the signs listed above.
God desires us to find people with whom we can live in community—sharpening, comforting, confessing… sharing life. Let’s be that people! No more isolation. Let’s let the pain caused by others heal. Let’s try again.
Here’s the picture. You can guess the connection. 🙂